One of the most advanced practices in personal development is the art of being a suspicious and distrusting mofo.
Suspicious and distrusting of who?
Yourself.
Specifically, your subconscious mind and any sneaky agendas it might have.
The practice involves being acutely aware that within you are unprocessed thoughts and feelings that manifest as certain behaviours and that all human beings manipulate. And, for a period of time, questioning the intent of everything you do. Particularly in your interactions with other people.
There's very often, below the surface, a secondary, unconscious (and often more powerful) motive for much of the things that we do.
For this phase, you should be like a detective who always assumes he's being lied to. You will be consciously asking yourself why you're acting a certain way, or why you might feel like doing a particular thing.
Are you seeking approval by trying to impress someone?
Are you secretly wanting someone to show concern for you?
Are you, without realizing, trying to show someone that you're upset with them, because you carry resentment towards them for some past thing that your conscious mind has tried to forget about but your subconscious mind has not?
Are you angry at yourself and your life? Have you noticed that you are often in a dark mood, for no apparent reason, as you go about your day?
None of these things are 'wrong'. That's not the point. The idea is to become aware of your own patterns in your effort to become an authentic man.
By considering what unconscious motives might lie below the surface of your thoughts and actions, you can bring to the surface what it is you're really looking for. You can then seek to have those needs met by being more genuine in your communication, or perhaps you need to find another avenue altogether to meet that need. Maybe the other person isn't really responsible for taking away or providing that particular feeling in you. .
Practicing this daily for a period of time, you can train your mind to recognise patterns of behaviour in yourself and then shed them in an effort to be as real as possible with yourself and others.
The ability to recognise, sit with, and express what's REALLY going on with you, is the trait of a truly strong man.
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